You’ve heard it before.

The immortal and most memorable quote from Scarface: “All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don’t break them for no one.”

Trying to coordinate 20 different people for a bachelor-bachelorette party is tough, but doing it when you live over 1,000 miles away (Tampa to central Jersey) and you don’t know most of the people going: nearly impossible.

Today it’s the wedding edition of Don’t Be That Guy, a series on Manwhole.com where we try to improve the world a little bit at a time by eliminating douches from ruining our day.

P.D.B.T.A. (please don't be that asshole)

Everywhere you go there are plenty of guys you don’t want to be: the guy that wants to be the star of the wedding video, the guy that hits on every girl at the wedding, including the bride, the guy that wears sneakers to the wedding, the guy that constantly complains about wearing a tuxedo/suite, the guy that wants to be part of the band… there’s a few more.

The guy that doesn’t tip the bartender because it’s an open bar, the guy that uses profanity in front of kids (seriously, don’t be that guy), the guy that doesn’t get a gift and finally, the guy that wants to take the centerpiece at the table home.

(Got that from my brother, one of his friends wanted it for his mom, sad to be that guy)

Easily the most annoying among these guys is the guy that RSVP’s “Yes” to the bachelor party, holds out on paying, then a day before the party goes down, decides to back out leaving you to foot the bill.

The worst part of the (man) whole thing is that I don’t even know this guy, and now everyone else has to chip in a couple of extra bucks to cover just because this guy doesn’t want to be included.

So you know what’s cool when you don’t know anyone and you’re collecting money for the party? Being the guy that no one knows and collecting more money because someone else you don’t know decided not to come.

So now it’s a little awkward, the first email I to the group asked for $125, and then a bunch of people elected not to come, which worked out ok. But the loss of people pushed the money up a few more dollars for everyone.

Then we got a final head count, booked a party bus, open bar at where we’re going, and food coverage but losing people at the last just ruins the experience for everyone because of additional money is necessary.

This is the second bachelor party I’ve ever been to (and second this month) but apparently this is a reoccurring theme, and whoever is the best man (in this case, me) has to foot the bill for all the buttholes that screw you over in the party process.

It’s simple, if you don’t want to go, can’t go or are unsure if you can go, than just say no. This way we’re not counting on you and we’ll be good to go.

Since all the money was collected in New Jersey, I didn’t have any control over what was really happening. I was just trusting that people would come through, I’m not hurting financially, but I’m not in a position to throw away a few hundred dollars on a dude I don’t know.

It’s just jacked up, when I see that guy, I want to punch him in the face and I don’t even know what he looks like.

Hating unknown people isn’t right, but when it directly costs me money, then yeah, it’s on.

Since you broke your word, you’re breaking my balls. And worse, my bank account.

So Don’t Be That Guy: The Bachelor Party Backer-Outer.