If there is any test to whether or not a relationship of any kind is going to last, it has to be a road trip.
Spend two or more hours in a car with someone and you know tons about them: what kind of music they listen to, if they have road rage or not (probably carries over in their life too), if they are good at making fun of someone else (driving in Florida gives you so many opportunities), basically it forces you to talk and get to know the other person.
Take a potential girlfriend on a small day trip and by the time you get home, you’ll know for sure if she’s a keeper or not.
She looks sweet now. You'll know for sure after two hours in the car.
Unfortunately for guys, sometimes taking a road trip involves your friends and you have to squeeze into a car and make it to wherever it is you’re going.
This provides prime examples for Don’t Be That Guy’s to emerge and since you’re in close quarters, there’s only so much you can do about it.
Quick side tangent, how come four girls can fit into the backseat of a car with no problem but if four guys just get into the same car, you can’t go 10 miles with out an argument coming to blows because of leg room?
Anyway, besides being the tall guy (a role I’ve been holding down since I was 14) in a car there are plenty of more DBTGs on a road trip.
There’s the guy that has the small bladder, the guy that has the crappy music on his iPod, the guy that wants to take a picture in the car (instant ass kicking if that goes down) the guy that won’t chip in for gas, the guy that constantly plays with the passenger seat, the guy that won’t duck so the driver can see out his rear view mirror.
The guy that insists on not using the GPS because it’s “not manly”, the same guy that knows a back road and either gets you lost or thrown into more traffic, the guy that falls asleep and tries to lean on another guy, the guy that yells at pedestrians but isn’t funny, the guy that farts, the guy that spills his drink on the seat etc…
The GPS is the best thing ever to happen in car technology this decade.
The worst of all of them, and today’s DBTG is the guy that answers a phone call while driving the car and doesn’t shut the f$%# up.
There’s not much you can do if this guy answers the phone, since he’s driving you can’t punch him, he lowers the volume of the radio so he can hear the conversation, essentially forcing you to tag along and listen to his useless conversation.
Any sensible DBTG would be smart and ask other questions like, “Is she going to be ok?” and the like; falsely convincing the rest of the car to believe the call is an important one.
But once you start talking about your toe nail clipping schedule, how you can’t wait to watch The Notebook when you get home or say for the fifth time that nothing is going on, then it’s time to hang up.
No one cares about your phone conversation, especially in the car.
The worst part is when it’s the driver on the phone, you have to be somewhat respectable because he can end up killing you and all.
So let’s examine a few maneuvers to make someone get off the phone and avoid becoming a DBTG.
You and your friends can yell as loud as you can until he hangs up, keep messing with the volume on the radio, just knock the phone out of his hand, reach over and honk the horn, or my personal favorite, act like he almost just got into an accident and then slap him on the arm, point out the windshield and tell him to pay attention.
Sure the guy talking on the phone is better than the guy texting on the phone, but the at least the guy texting isn’t annoying when he potentially kills you.
So there’s your gem for the day, Don’t Be That Guy, the in car cell phone conversationalist.
