Heeeeee’s Baaaack!

It’s been a little while since Ali Bubba has touched my spot. Uh, I mean…. Well, this quote had me thinking a little bit. At first glance it really doesn’t say much. In fact, it’s not that enlightening. At first I noticed that the “seize the day” attitude that is thrown around way too often was not in affect here. He states that tomorrow is when we should seize the day. So I’m thinking this doesn’t really do me much good now. Why keep waiting for tomorrow? If we keep looking in to the future, than it will never be our present.

Talk about a hard day at work. If this is my boss, I'd catch a case with a quickness.

But then I took a step back and thought about this again. Let me paint you a picture with me super-cool imagination brush. (No really it’s awesome. It has a bright green handle that says fancy down the side in sparkles, and the bristles are made from a unicorn’s tail. Magical, I know). So you come home after a hard days work. Your boss has been bending you over all day and riding your ass. Now your worried about anal leakage. You step one foot in the door and realize that you forgot to clean up yesterday after dinner, and the leftovers from last night’s fish dinner are still out on the table, so your whole apartment smells like Kristie Alley just opened her legs and vomited all over herself. Honestly, can you blame her for throwing up? So now that smell makes you queezy and now you want to throw up. You can’t though. Your stomach is empty because you hadn’t eaten all day. You did bring your lunch to work, but the fat-ass that sits in his cubical all day, the one that only gets up to take a Hiroshima-reenactment size shit that destroys the men’s room and the closest ten cubicles, and who has to flirt with all the 22-and-younger women on his way back to his desk, ate your entire lunch while waddling back from the fridge. When asked why he ate your lunch he replys, “Oh shush la fush uhm refo I eeen choo. Whin jew gaa no cheesecake?” So you decide to call it a night and just watch a little TV. News is sad and boring, click. Extreme Home Makeover, psh, click. Alex Trebek, I thought he died, click. Ooooh boobies, nope just a commercial, click. Biggest what? I don’t give a shit how much weight you lose, your still ugly, click. OK, so TV was a bust, but at least you can claim solace in finding something interesting on the internet. So you find a website that is very deceiving. It looks cool, but one guy writes way too many sports stories, one guy doesn’t write any stories at all, and the third guy probably takes it up the butt because all of his stories sound like they are written by a 12-year-old girl that is upset her favorite pair of chinos has a bleach stain on them. So, after you shut the computer down, take a shower in luke-warm-borderline-cold water, and grab a one of many beers to drink the night away, it hits you. Man, what a shitty day! What are you going to do?

You could keep drinking, zone out, and hope you somehow manage to set your alarm before you pass out. Or, you could plan to make tomorrow a better day. I think this is what Ali Bubba is talking about when he says, “…but tomorrow is all mine.” It’s a good idea to plan your course of action for the next day, week, or even month. We do this a lot and don’t even realize it actually. You may say to yourself, “OK, gotta wake up a little early so I can hit the gym before work,” or, “OK, gotta get to Dunkin Donuts exactly at 6 a.m. so I can get the freshest bear claw.” Just depends. But why can’t we do this with other things? Start taking it a step further. Tell yourself, “I’m going to pack a lunch that requires no refrigeration so I can keep it at my desk and that fat f@#k won’t be able to ruin my lunch-break.” See, this guy is already going to have a better day.

Dude! Her balls are totally showing!

Ali Bubba is not telling us to wait to act until tomorrow, because we’ve already discussed that tomorrow would never come. Instead, he is simply telling us to plan for tomorrow. Imagine what life would be like of some people would just plan ahead. We would be out of Iraq by now. Ice Cube would have stopped acting after Friday. MTV would have never introduced the been-played-out reality TV style shows (Thanks a lot Real World, I hope you choke on Tila Tequila’s penis.) Sasha Baron Cohan would have retired after Borat. I would have never bought a mesh t-shirt. I mean, no, that never happened.

So here’s the challenge, think about the things that are bothering you and find a way to deter them from happening again. The beauty of this is that it can be useful for problems small or large. If you are upset that you can’t find a chick at the bar to like you, go to another bar. Maybe stop going to bars and try a nice lounge. Or just stop trying so hard playing out of your league because chances are you are just too freaking ugly to nail a ten. If you are upset that your work is not being noticed at your place of business and you are afraid you will never move up in the company, then plan a way to get some attention. Maybe put together a proposal, on your own time, that has money-maker written all over it. Make them an offer they can’t refuse. If people are physically not noticing you, then die your hair purple or something.

The point is to plan for tomorrow to make that day better than today. Don’t let the fat guy steal your lunch anymore. Rent a movie from Redbox (still the second greatest box ever) instead of watching TV. Instead of reading things on the internet, download some pirated porn. Are you starting to get the picture? My imagination brush has completely saturated the page. I was actually trying to paint a picture of a horse galloping through fields of sunflowers. But now it looks like a dinosaur with leprosy trying to bone Andy Dick from behind. Man I really can’t draw. Oh well. I’m done now so you can go back to whatever you were doing. G’day mate.

“Yesterday is gone, today has been decided, but tomorrow is all mine.” – Ali Bubba

Seriously, if you wake up next to her, do both yourselves a favor and end her life.

As men we have lots of questions. What time does the game start? What is taking the pizza guy so long? How much beer is left in the fridge? Who is this chick and why is she in my bed? Does the “best if used by” date on the mayo jar have the same meaning as an expiration date? (If so, Bucky Chini is in for a world of pain.) Does this outfit make me look fat? OK, well maybe not the last one. But most questions are answered for us in a timely fashion. Somebody always knows the time of tip-off/kick-off/first-pitch/face-off. Once the pizza finally shows up we could care less what took him so long. Even if there is only one bottle of beer left, we can almost always get more right away. And it doesn’t matter who’s under the sheets as long as she has some teeth. (Thanks Obie.) Unless she is hideous, then the question is, would I be wrong to wake her immediately and fake a fire in my building to scare her out of the house and simply lock the door behind her? (Answer: not one bit) Not that I’m saying I’ve done that or anything. Enough rambling. But guys know there are questions that may never be answered. Until now.

• How can I get her to give me blow-jobs everyday?
• Should I send her a picture of my dang-a-lang?
• Is it rude to ask her to shave her fun-zone before we do it again?
• What is the Funky Monkey, and how do we do it?

These are questions that more than likely can’t, and won’t, be answered by us. That’s why we are proud to announce that we’ve brought in some back-up. We would like to introduce you to our sister-website, HappyHumper.com

This is a very informative website designed to answer all those questions, from a female perspective. It’s like asking your girl why she won’t slob on your knob without actually having to ask her. The lovely, and quite raunchy ladies of HappyHumper.com are chomping at the bit to answer these questions. If you have any questions for them, please visit their website by clicking here. If you would rather just read their hilarious content and learn something in the process, you are in luck because their are two ways to fulfill that want. You can keep tabs on their website (bookmark that shit son!) and you can stay tuned, right here, on your favorite ManWhole because our sassy sisters will be providing content for us on a regular basis.

Without further adu, The Humpettes.

- Lady Love

A little humorous, a tad romantic, and always ready give it to you straight up, this little Lady is the co-creator of HappyHumper.com and extremely pleased to be apart of our mission to globalize male sex education…

“To my readers,
I was inspired to create this site out of my own experiences with sex and relationships. Some of them good, most of the bad, and of course a few that were just plain ugly… but all were for a reason! Successful sexual relationships are very basic to maintain and I hope by reading sex education from a women’s perspective, it’ll give you that advantage you may need to have a safe, healthy, and scrumptious sex life! And be sure that after you read this site you partake in some damn fine Happy Humping ”

- Ms. Zombie

Sweet on the eyes and so very sassy, this little Ms. isn’t as innocent as she looks…

“Do you like to be watched? Does the idea of food play or popping balloons get you going? What about those porno’s you love so much but are so hard to find? Taboos fascinate me. I never can get enough of learning what makes people tick and even more so what weird things get people off. What I really, really like though is helping people to open up to new ideas, trying new things, and incorporating that special someone into it. I joined up with HappyHumper.com to give you guys the upper hand in enjoying your kink. Whether that be getting your girlfriend or boyfriend into anal, your thinking of getting a subincision, or you wanna know about toys… I got you covered. So don’t be scared, enjoy that golden shower! Start up your cock rings! Get ready to enjoy that strap on and ask away boys! THE Ms. Zombie is in!”

- Madam Cougalicious

Ripe and ready to let ya have it, this Cougalicious babe will be anything but bland, we promise…

“Hello Boys!!! The teacher is in. I say it how it is and don’t sugar coat anything. I’ve got all the views you want and need as an “experienced” woman both in age and relations. Specializing in healthy relationship advise and the “what not to-s” of it all. Don’t get me wrong, I like it all but with time have learned the value of mastering the basics. After all, you need a solid foundation to build on. So let’s focus on the prize and get to humping.”

These hot tameles are just waiting for your feedback. So please, don’t keep them waiting.

The switch in conferences absolutely made sense for the football program, winning the Big East automatically puts the Bulls in a BCS Bowl game, the additional exposure helps draw better prospects and makes students want to enroll in the school.

The best part of joining the Big East was the chance to team up with the elite programs in the country. Syracuse, Connecticut, Marquette, West Virginia, Louisville, Villanova and Georgetown aren’t just some of the best teams in the conference, year-in year-out they are among the best in the nation.

Florida is a hotbed for football recruiting, but basketball has always been an afterthought. The Bulls had some respectable teams during its history, making the NCAA Tournament in 1990 and 1992 but struggled to stay relevant as the team constantly switched confrences and shifted its focus to the football program, which played its first season in 1997.

When the Bulls joined the Big East many within the college basketball community knew the team would struggle, ESPN’s legendary analyst Dick Vitale dubbed the USF job the toughest in the country.

It’s hard to recruit kids to come to South Florida and compete against those elite programs. The Bulls don’t have the breathtaking on campus basketball court, or practice facility. The crowds are pretty sparse as basketball isn’t something people in Tampa are too concerned with.

Former coach Robert McCullum, who was at the helm when the program switched from Conference USA to the Big East, said when he was fired that he would have never accepted the job if he knew the Bulls were preparing to join the best basketball conference in the country.

During two horrible seasons under McCullum, the Bulls went 4-28 in conference play leading to his departure and the hiring of Stan Heath.

Slowly but surely, the Bulls turned it around, brought in some excellent recruits and watched guard Dominique Jones blossom into a NBA prospect.

Dominique Jones has forced basketball fans to pay attention to USF.

Even with Jones making a case to be named to the All-Big East First Team a year ago, the Bulls were still unprepared to deal with the Big East Conference. USF finished 4-14 in conference play and since the Big East expanded its conference tournament to include all 16 teams, the Bulls flew to Madison Square Garden as the 14-seed and were promptly knocked off by Seton Hall 68-54.

Thanks for coming out.

Once the 2009-10 season started, there was a different fell in the air. Heath brought in some highly rated recruits and the Bulls began their season with impressive wins over Virginia, Davidson and won the battle of USF over the University of San Francisco.

USF looked like it was reverting to its crappy ways, dropping the first four Big East Conference games, getting blown out by Louisville, Syracuse and West Virginia and losing a heart-breaker to Notre Dame.

Jones drew national attention as he dropped 46, leading the Bulls to an overtime win against Providence, to start a four-game win streak.

Out of nowhere, the Bulls knocked off No. 7 Georgetown in Washington D.C., dropped Pittsburgh and closed out the season by defeating Connecticut for the first time in the programs history to finish a surprising 9-9 in Big East.

Entering the Big East Tournament on the bubble, the Bulls needed to win its first round match up against DePaul, which they did 58-49, and need to win today against Georgetown to really make a push for the NCAA Tournament.

USF is an extremely likable team. Although they probably rely a little too much on Jones, he hasn’t been shy about carrying the burden. As the second leading scorer in the conference with 21.3 points per game, Jones plays a similar style game to Dwyane Wade, a former Marquette star.

Jones constantly attacks the rim, resulting in lay-ups, dunks and free throw attempts. The rest of the team plays with heart and hustle, diving for loose balls and trying to tap in any shot missed by Jones.

USF is the major underdog, and for once, have an actual shot of making the NCAA Tournament. Big things are happening for USF, make sure you’re tuning in to see it.

How crazy has the basketball season been this year? Connecticut and North Carolina, two of the top-5 basketball schools in the country, have NO chance of being a part of March Madness, while the Bulls needs one win to make their case.

For USF, the biggest game since making the NCAA Tournament 18 years ago tips off at noon.

#8 Georgetown (10-8 Big East) vs. #9 USF (10-9)

When: Wednesday at Noon

Channel: ESPN

So for once, I can finally have a realistic chance of going completely overboard on my NCAA Tournament bracket and pencil in my school to take it all.

Go Bulls!

I’ve said this before but life is not easy, that’s a given. Finding happiness is something that we all strive for, even if we don’t realize it. I explained in Life Part I how I believe our purpose in life is to be happy. I eluded to certain things that give us short happiness-highs, but fade away. Such things were winning the lottery (yeah like that ever happens), or maybe finally being able to buy that sweet jacket (with pockets of coarse). But finding true happiness is much different. There is a fine line, but if you can find where it’s located then I promise true happiness will be obtained a lot easier.

But how do you find that happiness?

Even if the world doesn't hear my music, it still makes me happy.

I believe it comes down to living your life the way you want to. Because after all, you are the only person that will make sure you have that happiness. Nobody can tell you, “This is awesome. It will make you happy.” It’s not possible for someone to tell you what is or isn’t going to make you happy. For instance, I love playing music. I have an acoustic and electric guitar, an old keyboard, and a simple drum-set. I enjoy playing all of them. It gives me a sense of peace, and release, and that happiness stays with me knowing that I can play those instruments and it calms me down. However, just because I love to play music doesn’t mean that you will. Just because strumming a six-string makes me happy doesn’t mean it will make you happy. It goes both ways because I’m sure you have activities that would seem like a complete waste of time to me. An example of that would be running. I just don’t get it. I don’t see the enjoyment or recreational purpose of running. The only reason I own a pair of running shoes is because they are comfortable and they match a couple of my shirts. So it’s safe to assume every person has different activities that brings them joy. For that reason, I want to speak on this:

My life, my rules.

This starts out so simple and innocent, but can quickly blossom into a way to live your life. There are some people who may already truly live their lives by following this way of thinking. There are some people who love to boast about it and look like complete jackasses. I’m sure we have all had encounters with these special beings. I notice most of these clowns are those who are wanna-be-dope-boy-turned-rappers while they scream on record, “I live my life how I want to, screw you and your thoughts.” But this way of living is not something that has to be announced. This is not something that you have to verbally proclaim to everyone who has something negative to say. This is an introspective motto that will ensure your happiness.

If Kellie Pickler was on every episode I'd totally watch it.

If going out, partying, and meeting new people makes you happy, then damnit, do it. If sitting at home, being an alcoholic, and releasing from the day makes you happy, then damnit, do it. If smashing many members of the opposite sex makes you happy, then damnit, do it. (FYI for the linguistically-challenged: the term smash refers to having sexual intercourse, so keep up.) If turning down a hot date because you don’t want to miss Extreme Home Makeover, then damnit, you got issues. But if that makes you happy, do it.

Please don’t get this confused with the “you don’t know me” type attitude. This really has nothing to do with other people. We spend so much time, sometimes not even realizing it, basing our happiness on things that make other people happy or sometimes do things that will present the illusion of our happiness. In fact, if you are spending time with others in mind about this way of life, then you are actually being counter-productive. This is simply a way to be content with yourself and your decisions. With that being said, it’s important not to travel outside of your means and morals.

Perfect example of not being true to yourself. Either that or scientists have found a way to successfully breed guidos and rednecks.

That sounds like a bit of a no-brainer, however it’s very easy to get sucked into the “lost soul” category. When I talk about being a lost soul, I am referring to doing things that are not normal, or possibly immoral, for you and your means of living. I do not partake in smashing everything with a skirt because that’s not how I was raised. So living like that wouldn’t bring me happiness. That’s what I’m talking about when I express making your own rules. So when you are creating your rules, keep your morals in mind and this will keep your actions in check.

Unfortunately, the rules you set for yourself wont be excepted by everyone. That’s ok, and expected, but should present absolutely no merit in your decision making while writing your rules. The rules you set are there for you, and you alone. It’s impossible to make everyone happy anyways, so why bother? You have to be content with yourself and your decisions. This is why you need to set your own rules and stick to them.

When someone tells you that you drink too much, or that you are too much of a party-animal, or that you are a whore without any feelings, just reply with, “My life, my rules.” Just be true to yourself, admit, learn, and move on when your wrong, and live to make yourself happy.

Facing the New Jersey Nets, a team flirting with the worst record in NBA history, the Knicks left their fans with no choice but to boo the hell out of them. Everything about their game was just awful. It was more pathetic than a 25-year-old guy sacrificing his Saturday night to watch a Nets-Knicks game by himself.

Making a rare appearance on NBA-TV, the Knicks (21-41) were handed an absolute beat down by their cross-river rivals. New Jersey and clinched their ninth consecutive non-winning season. Their faint playoff hopes from the All-Star break, just three weeks ago, have disappeared.

That will happen when you lose 113-93 to the worst team in the NBA.

The Knicks aren't even good at celebrating things, because they aren't used to it.

New Jersey scored its most points of the season, secured its largest margin of victory, beat a second team for the second time this season (the Nets have beaten Charlotte twice as well) and point guard Devin Harris scored a season high 31 points, including a long three-pointer as the clock was winding down.

New York has lost by 20 or more for the sixth time this season (lost by 50 to Dallas, 33 to Chicago, 31 to Cleveland, 22 to Miami and 21 to Minnesota). What stands out from this game is how terrible the Knicks actually played.

At the beginning of the game, the Knicks looked untouchable. David Lee and Danilo Gallinari were knocking down early shots as New York jumped to a quick 18-4 lead.

In typical Knick fashion, as the game wore on, the crappier they became.

Even with New Jersey (7-55) missing 12 of their first 13 shot attempts, the Knicks non-existent defense kept them in the game. Once their shots started falling, the Knicks couldn’t find an answer on either end of the court.

The Nets connected on 14-of-24 attempts from downtown, a season high and 10 more threes than their average, as the Knicks didn’t fare so well. Coming in with the second most three-point field goals in the NBA, New York missed all 18 attempts from beyond the arc. The 0-for-18 mark sets a new NBA record for crappy three-point shooting.

Knicks basketball, feel the excitement!

Newly acquired Tracy McGrady received his first taste of serious New York venom as the crowed loudly booed his 2-point effort. The crowd continued to boo as New York launched brick after brick from downtown.

Tracy McGrady found out what it's like to play for the Knicks Saturday night.

McGrady has been up-and-down since joining the Knicks. One night he’ll score 26 points, the next just eight. The performance is to be expected, as T-Mac is still recovering from a knee injury, trying to get into basketball shape and learn the Knicks offense.

Shooting 1-for-6 from the field, it wasn’t the poor shooting performance that earned McGrady the hearty round of boos, it was the slow movement and lack of effort. On two occasions he let the player he was defending trot right past him for an easy score.

Since acquiring McGrady, the Knicks are 2-7 and the rest of the schedule is brutal. Following a home game against Atlanta on Monday, New York plays its next five games on the road and finishes the season with 13 of its last 19 games away from Manhattan.

It’s one thing to lose, but losing to the Nets, at any time, is unacceptable. New York should always beat New Jersey. Back when the Knicks were cool, a period which saw 14 consecutive playoff appearances (1987-88-200-01), New York always knocked off the Nets and when they dropped them with three straight wins to clinch a first-round victory of New Jersey in 1993-94, it was even more special.

The Nets are the leagues lowest scoring team, but Harris, Lee and center Brook Lopez dominated the game as the Madison Garden crowd could only boo on horror.

You don’t have to ask any fans now, those days are long gone. Even with the Nets giving the 1972-73 Philadelphia 76ers a run for the worst record in NBA history. During their historically bad season, Philadelphia clinched their seventh victory of the season by defeating the Knicks, who went on to win their second and final NBA championship that summer.

Thirty seven years later, the Knicks became the seventh victim of the Nets, but this summer the only thing the Knicks can win is securing a franchise changing free agent.

Since New York is headed for its sixth consecutive season outside of the playoffs, it’s easy to see why fans are looking forward to the free agency period, which begins July 1st.

As Courtney Lee was draining five three-pointers against the Knicks in the Garden, the team reached a new low. New York has wrestled the crown away from New Jersey to become the most horrible NBA team going. Forget the record, the teams split their four head-to-head meetings, but a 20 point blowout at home solidifies just how crappy the Knicks really are.

Three more wins and the Nets avoid the history books, one more loss and the Knicks clinch a ninth-straight losing season.

New York is the Mecca of basketball, too bad the professional franchises there don’t realize it.

What makes July 1st so special is the most complete player in NBA history can be had by (nearly) any team in the league. A super-star guard and former NBA Finals MVP can switch squads as quickly as he changed his shoe endorsement. Three forwards, each with multiple All-Star appearances and an appearance on the United States Olympic team can be the front court anchor on a new team.

Many teams have been absolutely terrible for the past decade, but fans can dream of finally being relevant again.

Maybe Dwyane Wade and LeBron James will team up this summer. Hopefully not like that though.

Growing up a Knicks fan, it’s difficult to watch an absolutely dead Madison Square Garden crowd. Gone are the intimidating chants for defense, so long to the crowd trying to throw Michael Jordan and Reggie Miller off their games.

Instead, the Garden is showering Kobe Bryant with vomit-inducing MVP chants, even Miller was ripping Knicks fans for that. Opposing players no longer fear coming to the World’s Most Famous Arena, instead, they circle it on their calendar as a day they can showcase their skills on a  national stage.

No one should look forward to playing the Knicks. It’s absolutely embarrassing how far the Knicks have really fallen.

The only saving grace New York fans have is luring away a superstar from another team. Watching Tracy McGrady limp around pretending his knees are ok is just infuriating.

The Knicks haven’t had a true star player since the departure of Patrick Ewing on Sept. 20, 2000. This off season, something major HAS to happen. There is no other possibility. New York needs someone to give them hope, 10 consecutive losing seasons will do that to you.

So July 1, 2010 really means something to Knicks fans, and really all NBA fans.

Seven teams have cleared enough cap space to land at least one marquee free agent by offering a max contract (approximately $11 million per season), players can resign with their current club for a maximum of seven years and if joining a new team, six seasons.

The salary cap is projected to be between $50.4-$53.6 million for the 2010-2011 season. At the trade deadline, almost every club was positioning themselves into position to welcome a superstar to their club.

Here’s a quick look at the seven franchises with enough money to land a big time free agent:

New York Knicks- $18.6 million committed for next season

• Pros- Coach Mike D’Antoni is an offense first coach, playing in the biggest market in the country means more endorsement dollars.
• Cons- Little talent on the team, no 2010 first round pick (Utah owns it), intense pressure from fans and media to win a championship.

New Jersey Nets- $26.6 million committed for next season

• Pros- Already have a young franchise center in Brook Lopez, low expectations, horrible season likely leads to #1 Draft selection in 2010.
• Cons- No question the worst team in the league, non-existent fan base, constantly overshadowed by the Knicks.

Miami Heat- $30.7 million committed for next season

• Pros- Florida has no state income tax, so contract is worth more money, chance to play with Dwayne Wade (if he stays) and Michael Beasley.
• Cons- Wade could leave, little fan support in Miami, roster will be completely overhauled next season, possibly having to fill Wade’s shoes.

Chicago Bulls- $31.9 million committed for next season

• Pros- Having Derrick Rose as a teammate, intense and knowledgeable fan base, one of the most young and talented teams in the league.
• Cons- Vinny Del Negro as head coach, team has been seeking a post presence for years, constant comparisons to Michael Jordan.

Los Angeles Clippers- $33.5 million committed for next season

• Pros- Team already has a young core (Eric Gordon, Blake Griffin and Chris Kaman), absolutely NO expectations to succeed quickly.
• Cons- Team is owned by Donald Sterling, the team is the Los Angeles Clippers, always will be lagging behind the Lakers in terms of relevancy.

Sacramento Kings- $33.9 million committed for next season

• Pros- Would join likely Rookie of the Year Tyreke Evans, a small-market team with an intense fan base, little expectations.
• Cons- The team hasn’t been showcased on national television since early part of the decade, tough draw for other free agents.

Minnesota Timberwolves- $35.2 million committed for next season

• Pros- Potential to play with Spanish guard Ricky Rubio, talented young team, will likely have a top-3 selection in 2010 NBA draft.
• Cons- The only superstar in team history is Kevin Garnett, little opportunity to be on national television, tough place to live in the winter.

We’ve taken a look at the seven major players in the free agent market, let’s take a closer look at six of the most talented players who can switch ball clubs and the likelihood of them joining specific teams.

-LeBron James

50%- Cleveland Cavaliers

The biggest thing the Cavs have going for them is James’ love for his teammates and his loyalty to Ohio. Growing up an hour away in Akron, James could cement his legacy as the best athlete in Cleveland history if he can lead his team to a championship this season.

LeBron James might have a whole new set of teammates to man hug next season.

35%- New York Knicks

James has constantly said he wants to become a billionaire and playing in New York, with all of its endorsement opportunities, is his best chance of reaching that goal. He loves playing in Madison Square Garden (averages over 30 points per game there) and would instantly become a global icon in a Knicks jersey.

10%- New Jersey Nets

New Jersey is going to have a new owner, be moving to Brooklyn and may have John Wall running the point with him. The Nets would become James’ personal franchise and when the team moves, they might as well let him rename the team to whatever he wants.

4%- Miami Heat

Miami has enough money to pair him with Dwyane Wade. The duo would be the most celebrated in league history, more than Scottie and MJ, Kareem and Magic or Bird and McHale. Plus LBJ might need an out from Cleveland after the embarrassing Snuggie-fest on ESPN last night. No one wears Snuggies in Miami.

1% – Other

Always the potential of pulling a wild card and signing with a team out of the blue. He can pay total homage to Jordan by winning a title in Chi-town, challenge Kobe for the limelight in Hollywood or say screw it, and join the Raptors, leading Canada to its first NBA title. Who knows?

-Dwyane Wade

40%- Miami Heat

Most people just assume Wade would never leave Miami. When he dueled Kobe on Thursday night for the best game of the NBA season, the crowd was still dead for most of the game. Miami is a great place to live and the only way Wade stays is if another marquee free agent agrees to join the Heat.

Dwyane Wade is ready for Round 2 vs. LeBron.

35%- Chicago Bulls

The most likely landing spot for the former Marquette star would be joining his hometown Bulls. Chicago has been seeking a true star since Jordan’s departure in 1998. Pairing with Derrick Rose gives them the most talented back court in the league and takes a ton of pressure off him. Hmm…

15%- New York Knicks

Plan B for the Knicks in case LeBron passes on the Big Apple has to be Wade. The team has enough money to pair him with another star, but would he really leave the cushy surroundings in Wade County to be constantly scrutinized in the Empire State? For #3 to land here, it would only be about the $$$.

5%- Los Angeles Clippers

A dark horse in the Wade chase, the Clippers would be an ideal fit (nice front court, young team) and he would be the ultimate competitor with Kobe for the top shooting guard in the league. A move out west would be interesting and if he could actually lead the Clippers to a title, he’ll never be forgotten.

5%- Other

The Nets could make sense, but who would ever leave Miami for New Jersey? Maybe Wade is a big fan of the Jersey Shore, Nets fans can hope right? Dallas has the ability to pull a sign and trade. But watch out for Oklahoma City, if Wade landed there, that team would be scary.

-Chris Bosh

30%- New York Knicks

Chris Bosh is a talented player, one of the best forwards in the league, but make no mistake, his prescence alone will not make a team a championship contender. New York will only get Bosh if it also signs a big time scorer along with him. Bosh can’t lead a team by himself in the post season.

Chris Bosh can choose who will cowboy up with him next season.

30%- Chicago Bulls

Chicago makes a ton of sense for Bosh as Chicago finally lands the post scorer it’s needed for years. Rose can be the offensive catalyst for the team, Bosh the second option and with Joakim Noah grabbing rebounds and playing pesky defense, Bosh’s addition turns Chicago into a legitimate title contender.

20%- Oklahoma City Thunder

Players always say they want to win championships, Bosh can prove it by landing with the Thunder. The team already belongs to Kevin Durant, a talented forward who will average 35 points per game during his career, and the average age is under-24. With Bosh, they would be unstoppable

15%- Dallas Mavericks

Bosh was born in Dallas and if he were to team with Dirk Nowitzki, the Mavericks would have the best duo of forwards since the Celtics were dominating the 80s with Larry Bird and Kevin McHale. Dallas has to move Erick Dampier’s contract to make it happen, but never doubt owner Mark Cuban in this situation.

5%- Other

Toronto still has a small chance to keep Bosh up north, but signing Hedo Turkoglu simply isn’t enough to keep him in Canada. Houston has the potential of signing Bosh if Yao Ming opts out and don’t be suprised if Miami makes a major push to pair him with Wade.

-Joe Johnson

45%- Atlanta Hawks

When Johnson was dealt to the Hawks from Phoenix in 2005, he instantly brought creditability to the franchise and turned Atlanta into one of the powerhouses in the east. Will that be enough to keep him in Atlanta? Loyalty would have to trump dollar signs for it to happen.

Joe Johnson turned the Hawks around, on the right team, he can do it again.

20%- Los Angeles Clippers

The Clippers have some money and need to spend it on a big name ot make the franchise relevant again. Johnson could be decent alternative if Wade signs elsewhere and his outside shooting would be a welcome addition for Griffin and Kaman.

15%- Chicago Bulls

Chicago will undoubtedly come away with someone big in free agency, if the holy trinity of James, Wade and Bosh pass on Chicago, look for the Bulls to target Johnson. Johnson wouldn’t be a bad gain for the team, Rose is the franchise player, JJ would be an excellent back court mate for him.

10%- New York Knicks

Worst case scenario for the team because Johnson is a reincarnation of Allan Houston, a talented player the Knicks previously paid way too much. Both have a sweet jump shot, a knack for scoring and a need for a dominant player to really be the team leader. Johnson is good, but like Bosh, needs an All-Star to be great.

5%- New Jersey Nets

The Nets are flirting with the worst record in the NBA, but the team really isn’t that bad. Johnson would be a significant upgrade at shooting guard and with Brook Lopez and Devin Harris, this team could easily compete in the Eastern Conference.

5%- Other

If Johnson was going to pass on every team on this list, look for Minnesota to be a factor. Seriously, stop laughing. The team has talent, will have a top pick and with little pressure, Johnson could easily be the leader the Timberwolves have been looking for since Kevin Garnett was dealt away to the Celtics.

-Carlos Boozer

30%- Chicago Bulls

Boozer and Joakim Noah could make one of the most lethal front court parings in the NBA. Both can rebound and play stingy defense, and with Noah not crying for the ball on the offensive end, it opens up the lane even more for Boozer and Derrick Rose. Chicago can easily make this happen.

Carlos Boozer can make friends off the court, a new team will help him on the court.

30%- Miami Heat

If Dwyane Wade stays in South Beach, look for Boozer, who already owns a home there, to join him. The two played well together on the Olympic team last summer and could spend a lot of time on the court next summer in the playoffs.

15%- New Jersey Nets

New Jersey has the money to land Boozer, but the best part of their plan is they don’t have to splurge now to make it happen. The biggest weakness the team has is at the forward position and Boozer coupled with a high draft pick, could turn the Nets into a real NBA team quickly.

15%- Sacramento Kings

If every team passes on Boozer, which would be  a mistake, the Kings have enough money to land him in Sacramento. Boozer has already rocked the purple jersey for the last six seasons in Utah and landing in Sacramento wouldn’t be too much of a transition.

10%- Other

Dallas has the assets to make a move for Boozer and the Rockets could also be in play. But if you are looking for a real sleeper, if the Bucks quietly have some cap room and if he was willing to take a slightly smaller contract, Boozer can make Milwaukee into a serious threat in the East.

-Amar’e Stoudemire

40%- Phoenix

In order for Stoudemire to become a free agent, he has to void the final year of his contract, which would cost him $17.69 million. Since he’s unlikely to recoup that money elsewhere, look for Stoudemire to remain in Phoenix and the trade rumors to continue until next February.

Amar'e Stoudemire has $17.69 million reasons to stay in Phoenix this summer.

20%- Los Angeles Clippers

They already have Blake Griffin and Chris Kaman, but Stoudemire could ease the pressure on both in the lineup. Los Angeles has enough money to be a factor in free agency, and since everything the Clippers do makes little sense, signing Stoudemire seems like a typical Clipper move.

10%- New Jersey

Stoudemire hasn’t played with a talented center in his prime (Shaq was done when he was dealt to Phoenix) and paring him with Brook Lopez (a great defender) would only make him that much better. Jersey can make some noise this off season and Stoudemire may be the most realistic option for the team.

10%- Chicago

If they whiff on both Bosh and Boozer, Stoudemire is a great alternative. The only thing Chicago has to avoid is pancaking like the Pistons did this summer and over pay for sub-par talent. They were wise to let Ben Gordon walk, and if they can land Stoudemire to anchor the middle, the Bulls will be the team to watch again.

5%- Miami

Even if Wade departs, Stoudemire could land in Miami as a second option. Stoudemire played his high school basketball in Florida and a return home would make a ton of sense for both sides. He’s a great offensive threat and only becomes more valuable if Wade remained with the Heat.

5%-Other

No matter which conference he plays in, Stoudemire has enough talent to be a perennial All-Star. In the East, teams like New York and Washington could make a push while Sacramento, Oklahoma City and Houston could land the five-time All-Star.

The salary cap has been lifted, providing a huge rift between the haves and the have-nots. Basically, the parady in the NFL that everyone knows and loves is gone this season.

The NFL can be much like Major League Baseball, meaning the team owners with the deepest pockets can assemble the best team money can buy.

Stars such as Julius Peppers and Karlos Dansby can be had by anyone. The teams lucky enough to land either one will significantly boost their defense.

Julius Peppers has totaled 10 or more sacks in six of his eight NFL seaons.

Peppers has enough talent that he can swing the Super Bowl. If a team such as the Dallas Cowboys wanted to, they can easily become the most dominant team up front by flanking the two sides of their defensive line with Peppers and linebacker DeMarcus Ware. If they are able to team up, look for sack records to be shattered, as these are two of the premier pass rushers in the game.

Dansby helped lead the Cardinals to an unlikely Super Bowl run two years ago, and at just 28-years-old, he is just entering his prime. Coming off consecutive 100+ tackle seasons, the former Auburn star would be a nice fit on any team.

Plenty has been made about these two players, along with wide receiver Terrell Owens, running back Thomas Jones and safety Darren Sharper, but this website is always looking at more than the obvious.

There’s plenty of buzz about where former Charger running back LaDainian Tomlinson and where he’s going to land, but ask any of his fantasy owners over the past three years, it’s completely undeserved. Wherever he lands, he will be a complete bust, the guy is done. Quit talking about him, hyping him up, hoping he can turn it around, it’s over.

The fake LT will be in a different uniform next year. Yeah, we don't care either.

The guy was always scared to run the ball in the playoffs, and to top it off, both of his names are annoying to spell. So we’re done, no more LaDainian Tomlinson talk from this site. EVER.

With so many quality players in position to switch teams, the NFL is in unprecedented territory in league history. No cap means a complete free-for-all.

If your team lands Julius Peppers, it’s a good day, no question. It doesn’t need to be said, talked about or anything else, it’s just understood.

But let’s find three under-the-radar pickups that will boost your team heading into the NFL Draft.

1. DeMeco Ryans- Linebacker

As the anchor for the Houston Texans since 2006, Ryans has amassed 503 tackles in just four NFL seasons. Although he is a restricted free agent (meaning the Texans can match any offer made) any team would be smart to make a move for a guy sure to put up triple digit tackle totals. If a team were to lure Ryans away, it would cost a first and third round pick, a steep price, but Ryans is a sure thing, any college prospect is not. Look at the Saints, they were able to bring in Jonathan Vilma from the New York Jets for a fourth round pick (HOW???) and two years later, helped lead the Saints to their first ever Super Bowl title. Ryans has a similar impact on the field, and has enough talent to be the best defender on a Super Bowl caliber defense.

2. Antonio Bryant- Wide Receiver

Always enormously talented, Bryant was run out of Dallas for having a bad attitude (imagine that) and since posted 1,000 yard seasons with both Cleveland and Tampa Bay. Just imagine what he can do if he had a talented quarterback to throw him the ball? With teams like the Ravens, Giants, Bears, Cowboys and Dolphins in desperate need of a talented pass catcher, Bryant is among the best available. Completely healthy two seasons ago, Bryant posted career numbers with 83 catches, 1,248 yards and seven touchdowns all on a sub-par offense (and that’s putting it mildly). If he can team up with Tony Romo or Jay Cutler, he can turn them from average quarterbacks into superstars.

3. Jerious Norwood- Running Back

Fantasy owners are very familiar with the work Norwood as done backing up Michael Turner in Atlanta, but much like Turner, a change of scenery could launch him into a superstar. Armed with blazing speed, Norwood is also a significant threat catching the ball out of the backfield. Limited by injuries last season (he had just 19 carries in the first 10 games of the year) he proved to be a serviceable feature back as Tuner battled injuries of his own. A restricted free agent, Norwood could be targeted by teams seeking an every down back (Seattle, San Diego, Jets to name a few) and would be a wise pickup at a relatively cheap price.

Seeing this entire game was in our plans. Being late wasn't.

Fellow ManWholer Brendan Galella, his roommate David Rice, and I had an extremely important meeting to get to. And by important meeting I mean an Orlando Magic basketball game. But understand that this was my first ever live NBA game and that the build-up was much like the weeks you spend trying to get that hottie you met at the bar to forget her panties on your bedroom floor. Also, the Magic were playing host to the Cleveland Cavaliers. (If you need an explanation as to why that’s exciting, then you should contemplate suicide.) We purchased the tickets in December. I was extremely excited for the event and kept the tickets on my kitchen counter in the hope that I wouldn’t put them somewhere “safe” and forget where I put them. (Everyday starts with a scavenger hunt to find my car-keys.) So naturally, I would get anxious, and then pissed off, every time I saw the tickets because the game wasn’t for weeks to come. So the day before the event was to finally to take place, we had plans set. Brendan and David were supposed to be at my house around 11 am. This would have given us plenty of time to make the trek to Orlando, from Tampa. That morning was a complete cluster-fuck. Brendan spent the night with his new lady-friend, and I entertained ManWhole contributor Nick Krueger the night prior by hitting up the local bar to catch-up on the good times. Somehow we all ended up at the same Denny’s the next morning prior the game. Nick and I got there first, found out there was a 55 minute wait for a table (Seriously, Denny’s is not worth waiting and hour for. Honestly, this ain’t the fucking Sizzler or nothing.), and decided to hit up the Dunkin Donuts across the street. On our way out of the parking lot we saw Brendan. We told him the wait time and told him to meet us at Dunkin Donuts because we were obviously on a time-schedule. It would have worked out fine except that somebody just HAD to have eggs for breakfast (thanks a lot “Jessica”, homewrecker!). So we hit up the Village Inn and the service was slower than the handicapped trying to complete a trig-problem. Needless to say, we didn’t leave on time.

The game started at 1 pm. We didn’t pull out of my apartments until 12:30 pm. The drive to Orlando typically takes 1 1/2 hours with traffic. Don’t believe me? GOOGLE MAPS THAT SHIT SON! We parked the car in Orlando (with direction from Gap-toothed Willy and his make-shift parking lot), after taking the wrong exit and getting back on the highway, in an hour flat. How you ask? We owe it all to our new idol, a vehicular-fullback we dubbed the Porta-German.

This would have been nice to have. The fast car would have helped also.

My Jeep Wrangler will never be confused with a hot-rod by any means. But we were “crusing” to say the very least. I was weaving in and out of traffic like I was a basket-maker (get it? weaving.). Anyways, I was cutting off every car that got in my way with utter disregard for our personal beings. We all came to the conclusion that dying in an effort to not miss Dwight Howard and LeBron James was well worth it. About 15 miles into the journey we came upon a car with two flag-stickers on the back window. One was a Puerto Rican flag, the other a German. We mocked the driver for his appearant nationality confusion. Little did we know that we would owe our entire day to the driver of that Kia Spectra.

I had no idea that Kia’s had any power whatsoever. But I am witness that the Koreans did something right. The driver, who had to hyped up on six or seven 5-Hour Energy drinks which was made visiually appearantly by his repeated air-drum solos, was not traveling under 100 mph in the open road. As you can imagine, we followed suit. My hope was that he could provide a hole for us to follow while being the first car the cops would pick up on radar. He was labeled our personal fullback, in respects to the game of football where the fullback lays down the lead block to clear the way for the running back with the ball. Actually, we named him a few times in our hour drive. Some names were very empowering. Such as “The Greatest Driver Ever not in racing.” Other names were completely racist, such as “Pablo Nowitski.” The driver of the Kia probably wouldn’t have minded, or even heard us with his rock-anthems blasting through his crappy factory speakers. But the name that we eventually stuck with was Porta-German. (It started as Puerto-German, but us ignorant Americans found it to be a pain in the ass to keep rolling our R’s.)

Maybe his Kia had special German-engineering. Coinsidence? I think not.

The cops weren’t traveling, or posted, on I-4 that day. This made for easy driving. It wasn’t until we hit the horrible traffic just before Orlando, also known as Disney World, that things got scary. I had to anticipate the gas-mashing of the Porta-German so we wouldn’t be left in the dust. At the beginning of the journey I asked my co-pilots to keep extra eyes on the road for 5-0. But by this time I asked them to keep their eyes on my fullback and make sure they knew where he was at all times. He did loose us a few times (thanks a lot Korean engineering!) which led to the eruption of my compadres screaming, “Where is he? Don’t fucking loose him! Don’t loose the Porta-German!”

Our new “teammate” led us through traffic, and provided a constant tunnel through slower cars (and even away from a certain jackass in a BMW who figuratively spit in our faces when he cut us off and kicked up an aluminum can that flew directly into the grill of my truck.) And then it happened.

Five miles before our exit to the stadium came, Exit-77 to be exact, the Porta-German left us. For the first few seconds we all sat in silence and disbelief that our road-savior was leaving us to fend for ourselves. Then in a harmonious uproar, the cursing started. “Sonofabitch!”, “This can’t be fucking happening!”, and “Don’t fucking leave me!” ’s flooded my truck. I think I saw a tear fall from Brendan’s left eye. We were devastated.

Did the Porta-German leave you too? We feel your pain brother.

We made it to the game, missing only the first quarter, and enjoyed the festivities. (By enjoying the festivities I am of course referring to making fun of all the ass-clowns in the stands and the apparent bi-curious male half-time dancers.) The game really picked up in the fourth-quarter, and provided a ton of entertainment. The greatest moment came when Vince Carter threw down a one-handed dunk that forced the entire arena to stand up. We left the arena after the game and meandered back to our vehicle. Gap-tooth Willy wished us safe travels. Even after having viewing a great game, something didn’t seem right.

The car ride home was silent until Brendan said, “I miss Porta-German.” The next 30 minutes consisted of us explaining why the ride to the game was actually better than the game itself. “I think the Porta-German was way better than the Vince Carter dunk,” Brendan stated. David and I couldn’t disagree.

The moral of the story is this: It’s ok to run late, just make sure you have a solid fullback to guide you through traffic. We salute you, Mr. Kia-Driving Energy Shot-Guzzling Air Drum-Playing Porta-German. We salute you!

Making his debut with the Minnesota Timberwolves during a 109-107 loss to Oklahoma City, the former #2 selection of the 2003 NBA Draft had his best game of the season and briefly sparked a rally to bring Minnesota back into the ball game.

Take a look at what the Associated Press had to say about Milicic in it’s game story:

For the Timberwolves, the biggest surprise of the night was the play of Darko Milicic. The former No. 2 overall draft pick was acquired from the Knicks in a trade last week and played for the first time in more than three months.

He was on the floor when Minnesota played its best basketball and finished with eight points and eight rebounds in a season-high 19 minutes of action. Despite the Timberwolves losing, Minnesota was plus-35 with Milicic, who is admittedly out of game shape, on the floor.

“I was trying to focus on breathing,” Milicic said. “I was just focusing on breathing so I didn’t die.”

That was the problem during the crappy course of your NBA career? Are you kidding me? Your game plan was just to breathe while out on the court? Was the incessant pressure from the New York media really that tough on you?

Umm, the only story I can remember about Darko was when he told the New York Post he wanted to return to Europe next season. So it’s not like he was A-Rod hounded or anything by all of the reporters in New York.

Milicic fell off the NBA radar so bad that he was traded straight up for Brian Cardinal at the deadline.

If you get traded straight up for this guy, quit playing basketball. Seriously. Just Stop. Forever.

What’s crazy is with the age of the internet, and everyone willing to rip on everyone else, how much Milicic hasn’t been called out for just being a complete waste of space.

Two months ago, Milicic was named the biggest draft bust, in any sport, over the past decade. After his “breakout game” against the Thunder, it really should be revamped to the worst pick in NBA history.

Yes, we said it. Worst pick in NBA history.

We’re also going to clear up the myth about Sam Bowie being the worst selection in NBA Draft history, a distinction Sports Illustrated gave him in 2005, but is undeserved. Bowie wasn’t a great player, maybe not even a good player, but he was at least serviceable. Unfortunately for him, Bowie has the stigma of being the guy selected before Michael Jordan.

Could Darko even crack the Serbian Olympic team now? At least Sam Bowie balled out in college.

Here’s the tale of the tape, Bowie vs. Milicic, and we’re holding Darko to his word this is his final season in the NBA with a quick 5-on-5 career summary.

Sam Bowie- selected 2nd overall in the 1984 NBA Draft by the Portland Trail Blazers

• Selected before: 3rd- Michael Jordan, 5th- Charles Barkley and 16th- John Stockton
• Played 10 seasons for three different teams (Portland, New Jersey and the Los Angeles Lakers)
• Limited to 63 games during three seasons (‘85-86-’88-89) because of leg injuries, having five surgeries in that span
• Career year (1989-90) with New Jersey: 14.7 points, 10.1 rebounds and 1.8 blocks per game
• Career averages: 10.9 points, 7.5 rebounds and 1.8 blocks per game, earned a total of $23,202,500 during his career

Darko Milicic- selected 2nd overall in the 2003 NBA Draft by the Detroit Pistons

• Selected before: 3rd- Carmelo Anthony, 4th- Chris Bosh and 5th- Dwyane Wade
• Played seven seasons for five different teams (Detroit, Orlando, Memphis, New York and Minnesota)
• Never was seriously injured during his NBA career
• Career year (2006-07) with Orlando: eight points, 5.5 rebounds and 1.8 blocks per game
• Career averages: 5.4 points, 4 rebounds and 1.2 blocks per game, earned a total of $37,875,062 during his career

Look at those dollar figures again, I really wish I could earn nearly $40 million during my career, I’ll even write a post about how terrible I am at writing and everything.

I’ll settle for Bowie’s pay, you can cut me a check for $23 million, and I’m out. Bob’s Barricades and Bemis toilet seats haven’t hit me up yet, but if those checks come though, we’re getting there.

That’s what’s awesome about being an NBA player, even if you’re terrible, you can just stick around along enough and make enough for three generations of your family to be set.

Even if it sets back an NBA franchise a few years, what’s the big deal? At the end of the day, it’s the General Manager that has to own up to his mistake.

Here’s the thing, the Bowie selection was somewhat defensible.

First off, no one figured Jordan was going to become the greatest player in NBA history. Houston never flinched when selecting Hakeem Olajuwon with the first overall selection. Portland already had Clyde Drexler on board, why select another shooting guard?

And the two Hall-of-Famers that were selected later in the first round? One was made fun of constantly for being overweight and the other looked like a choir boy and was the last player clinging onto the the short shorts years after baggy shorts did basketball fans a huge favor.

Portland was trying to fill a need, a low post player that can rebound and protect the rim.Bowie appeared to be the best player to fill that void.

Say what you want about how he fared in the NBA, but his number is hanging in the rafters at Kentucky, one of the most dominant basketball schools in the history of college basketball. Selecting player from Kentucky with his number among the legends in school history isn’t that crazy of an idea. Just in Bowie’s case, it didn’t quite work out.

The Bowie selection made NBA scouts and general managers completely overhaul their draft selection process, drafting on potential instead of need.

That line of thinking is what led Pistons GM Joe Dumars to select Milicic instead of far more talented players.

Detroit fans have a good idea where Darko Milicic can jam his thumb.

The only reason Milicic hasn’t been blasted as much as Bowie is LeBron James was the first overall selection, not the third.

The Pistons took a big swing, but missed even bigger.

The NBA was at a point where GMs were enthralled with international players, hoping to pull the next draft day trade landing Dirk Nowitzki and dumping the horrendous Robert “Tractor” Traylor on some sucker team.

Too bad it never happened.

Nowitzki was selected 9th in 1998. From 1999-2003, there were 26 international players  selected in the first round. Only Andre Kirilenko (1999), Pau Gasol and Tony Parker (2001) and Yao Ming (2002) ever played in an All-Star game.

Besides Ming, the 2002 Draft produced three of the biggest foreign busts of all-time, including a misfire by the Rockets in the same round: Nikoloz Tskitishvili (5th by Denver), Bostjan Nachbar (15th by Houston) and Jiri Welsch (16th by Philadelphia).

The precedent for foreign busts was there. With each international pick, there was a huge “Buyer Beware” tag hanging around each prospects neck.

LeBron James was already a commodity coming out of high school. There was little doubt he would succeed, and Cleveland made the easy decision by selecting him first.

With Detroit on the clock, the choice was between Milicic and college superstar Carmelo Anthony.

Anthony just led Syracuse to its first national title, was the MOP during the NCAA Tournament (in NCAA basketball, it’s Most Outstanding Player, not Most Valuable Player. Why? I have no idea, just like the possession arrow instead of a jumpball, college basketball has some stupid quirks about it) and was the best college player, hands down in 2003.

Anthony averaged 22.1 points and 10 rebounds and lead his team to a 30-5 record during the regular season. During a legendary Final Four performance against Texas, Anthony proved he can play on the biggest of stages, lighting up the Longhorns for 33 points. He followed up with 20 points and 10 rebounds against Kansas to cement himself among the best college players in Syracuse history, after just one season.

Joe Dumars and the Detroit Pistons passed on Carmelo Anthony for wearing his hat backwards.

All casual fans knew about Milicic were some grainy highlight tapes from overseas. With little footage or international buzz about him, Milicic was a dark-horse entering the draft, but inexplicably billed as one of the best prospects in the class.

Milicic was supposed to be a superstar, a cross between Nowitzki’s outside shooting with a far superior low post game. Neither exists.

The Pistons did win the title during his rookie season, but Milicic provided little impact. Detroit’s foundation had gotten old, after reaching the Eastern Conference Finals a staggering six-straight times and without a superstar like Anthony, Bosh or Wade in the mix, the team will struggle for a long time.

Sure, Bowie was selected before Jordan, the greatest player of all-time. The Pistons selecting Milicic was even more of a blunder. Anthony and Wade will be perennial MVP candidates along with James, and Bosh has emerged as one of the best inside players in the game.

Three All-Stars were selected, in succession, after Milicic. That makes the Pistons selection even worse. In the most loaded draft of the decade, and a toss-up with the 1996 Draft as the greatest ever, Detroit came up empty. 1984 was a good Draft, but hardly one of the best classes ever.

Any questions lingering about Bowie vs. Milic?

Bowie was a draft bust, no question, but biggest in NBA history? Far from it. Here’s a list of 10 players selected with one of the top-3 selections after Bowie that were actually worse. Luckily for them, Jordan wasn’t behind them. And yes, in a game of one-on-one, Bowie would ball out on them.

Onto the list:

1. Chris Washburn- selected 3rd overall in 1986, averaged 3.1 points and 2.4 rebounds and was banned for life in 1989 for failing a third drug test.
2. Dennis Hopson- selected 3rd overall in 1987, was dubbed the “Next Michael” didn’t happen, averaged 10.9 points for his career and was never mistaken for MJ. Ever.
3. Pervis Ellison- selected 1st overall in 1989, earned the name “Nervous Pervis” in Boston after balling out, for real, two seasons in Washington
4. Danny Ferry- selected 2nd overall in 1989, he’s the Honus Wagner of crappy NBA players out of Duke, really the first superstar of the group
5. Billy Owens- selected 3rd overall in 1991, he was billed as the next Larry Bird, but his weight issues turned out to be what was exaggerated about Barkley
6. Shawn Bradley- selected 2nd overall in 1993, he’s the most dunked on man in NBA history, Bradley is the epitome of the white stiff (good porn name) in the NBA
7. Joe Smith- selected 1st overall in 1995, played for 10 teams and was part of a huge salary cap scandal with Minnesota, the questoin remains: Why? He’s terrible. And his absolute average play cost the T-Wolves 3 draft picks.
8. Michael Olowokandi- selected 1st overall in 1998, averaged 8.3 points and 6.8 rebounds for his career, aka: crap
9. Raef LaFrentz- selected 3rd overall in 1998, the only memorable moment for him was when SportsCenter anchors would announce his name Scarface style, which didn’t happen too often
10. Kwame Brown- selected 1st overall in 2001, became the face of commissioner David Stern’s push to disallow players to jump straight from high school to the NBA

There you have it, 10 other players worse than Sam Bowie (and that’s without ragging on Christian Laettner, couldn’t do it, he’s in the original NBA Jam, so he’s untouchable), the absolutely horrible 2000 Draft class and giving some time to Greg Oden, who may become the new Bowie with the way Kevin Durant is playing. Plus the second overall pick from last year, Connecticut’s Hasheem Thabeet, was sent to the NBA Developmental League. The guy was selected 2nd!!! How pathetic is that?

Sorry Grizzlie fans, your boy will be on this list in years to come.

So quit ragging on Sam Bowie. You’re better than that.

With Thursday marking the final day teams can deal players, a few teams were scrambling to jostle into the race to land James and the rest of the most talented free agency class of all-time. Joining King James could be Dwyane Wade, Joe Johnson, Amar’e Stoudemire,Chris Bosh, Carlos Boozer and Dirk Nowitzki causing every team out of contention to shuffle its roster around hoping to quickly turn into contenders.

Five teams successfully made deals to either attract a marquee free agent listed above, or made a significant move in hopes to keep a star player from bolting July 1. In many instances, the deals made over the past week can be viewed as potentially paving the way for James, Wade etc, so with that factored in, the move could potentially save the franchise.

Let’s take a closer look at these five teams and the deals they made and the likelihood of landing James and/or another franchise player.

1. Cleveland Cavaliers

Acquired: Antwan Jamison and Sebastian Telfair

Lost: Zydrunas Ilgauskas, the rights to Emir Predlzic and a 2010 first round draft selection

Cleveland was already considered the favorite in the Eastern Conference throwing Jamison a life preserver from the horrible situation he was facing in Washington. Inserting Jamison into the starting lineup allows James to attack the rim and the ability to kick it out to a respectable long-range threat (Jamison is just under 35% from three-point range for his career) and enables Shaquille O’Neal more room to operate in the post.

The most important part of the deal for Cleveland was retaining second year power forward J.J. Hickson giving James a young asset for the future. Landing Jamison only helps Cleveland for its playoff run and the Cavaliers are praying he will be enough to keep James from bolting during the summer.

Final Grade: A-

2. Dallas Mavericks

Acquired: Caron Butler, Brendan Haywood and DeShawn Stevenson

Lost: Josh Howard, Drew Gooden, James Singleton and Quinton Ross

The Washington Wizards turned into sellers following the Gilbert Arenas saga and decided to completely blow up its team and try and start from scratch. The Mavericks were the first team to swoop in, pillaging Butler away from the team for a poo-poo platter heavily involving another guy with character issues (Howard) and two backup guards thrown in just to make the deal work.

More importantly, Dallas has the cap room to potentially land a big time free agent, especially with Nowitzki owning a player option for the next season. The Mavericks improved at the right time, with everyone essentially handing over the Western Conference’s slot in the championship to the Lakers, Dallas bulked up it team into a legitimate threat.

Final Grade: A

3. Chicago Bulls

Acquired: Hakim Warrick, Joe Alexander, Flip Murray, Acie Law and a future first round draft pick

Lost: Tyrus Thomas, John Salmons 2010 and 2011 second round draft picks

The Bulls moved Thomas and Salmons, two of the few contracts the team has beyond this summer, vaulting them into contention with the other teams in the upcoming free agent scramble.

The good news for Chicago is the team picked up quality players in the meantime, Warrick has been an under-utilized player for much of his career (averaging just 21 minutes per game) and could make an impact. And if he doesn’t? No big deal, the Bulls can let him walk at the end of the season.

Chicago is now in prime position to lure away Wade from Miami. Wade grew up in the Windy City and his return could give the Bulls one of the greatest back courts of all time (joining reigning Rookie of the Year and All-Star point guard Derrick Rose) and the team has a young, talented foundation to draw other talent if the hometown kid passes on the Bulls.

Final Grade: B+

4. Los Angeles Clippers

Acquired: Drew Gooden

Lost: Al Thorton

The move in itself is really insignificant, but with Gooden being a free agent once the summer hits, the Clippers have suddenly become the dark-horse pick to poach a significant free agent this summer.

If players are truly concerned about winning, which every athlete claims, then the Clippers are the franchise to join. Blake Griffin, the number one selection in last year’s draft should be ready to make his debut after a knee injury kept him sidelined this year, and with Eric Gordon, Baron Davis and All-Star center Chris Kaman rounding out the roster, Los Angeles has everything in place to be a force for years to come.

With a record of 21-33, the Clippers will be in the lottery once again, but the pick coupled with a significant free agent signing could finally help the team shed its black sheep label in Hollywood.

Final Grade: B

5. New York Knicks

Acquired: Tracy McGrady, Eddie House, Brian Cardinal Bill Walker, J.R. Giddens and Sergio Rodriguez

Lost: Nate Robinson, Jordan Hill, Jared Jeffries, Darko Milicic and first round draft pick in 2012

Four years ago, the Knicks signed forward Jared Jeffries to one of the most ridiculous contracts in NBA history.

Former general manager Isiah Thomas was at an auction by himself, bid five-years and $30 million when no one else would offer even $1o million. Thomas had to drunk dial Jared Jeffries’ agent, blurted something out about $50 million by mistake and was forced to settle for $30 million. This is the only circumstance where Jared Jeffries lands a contract for 30 mill instead of $30.

That contract could have been the lone thing standing in the way of landing James. Somehow, the Knicks were able to deal Jeffires away, packaging him with rookie forward Hill and a future first round pick.

The deal is an absolute home run for New York and landing McGrady, one of the most talented players of the past decade, for half a season is just a bonus.

But in typical Knicks fashion, the team makes a side trade that is absolutely stupid.

Nate Robinson was disgruntled, but New York dealt him away for a crappier version of Nate Robinson (Eddie House) and the likelihood of Crypto-Nate biting the Knicks in the butt at some point has to be hovering around the 88% mark.

You know what, who cares?

The Knicks finally made a move the fan base can support, McGrady has been fun to watch during his career, and if he turns out to suck? Oh, well, the Knicks saved $9 million in cap room and have enough to pursue two players listed above and potentially resign David Lee.

It’s a good day to be a Knicks fan, and there haven’t be a lot of those lately.

Final Grade: B