I recently read a fantastic book by David Deida called The Way of the Superior Man. Like many of the books I’ve read lately, I accidentally picked it up one evening at the book store. It is an absolutely fantastic book and a must read for any man… particularly any man dealing with problems with women. Now, it is important, I feel (don’t worry guys, I don’t feel THAT much – most of the time I’m like a goddamned limestone statue), to read everything from a distance, and not immediately take it as truth, no matter who the author or how respected and researched. But something about the words of this book rang as truth – a new truth based on the experiences and conclusions I have been coming to in my life.
On this note I would like to discuss a trait of women that the book highlights, and one that has been highlighted throughout my relationships as well as my friends’ recent situations – how women keep promises , or better put, how they don’t keep promises. On third thought let’s go with, understanding how women make decisions IN THE MOMENT based on their emotions (because they’re crazy… just kidding ladies… wait, why are you reading this at all?).
Many women are terrible at keeping their word.
And, I’m not necessarily talking about the small stuff here (your woman’s mileage may vary). I’m talking about the life changing words they say (or said) to define themselves and their reality and words that affect you, her man. I’m talking about, “I love you“, “I do“, “I’ll be by your side forever“, etc. I’m ready to barf as I write these words. It could be because of the Jameson last night, or it could be I’m remembering being told these LIES! Calming down…
Is this website therapy for you Zach? Quizás.
But, it wasn’t until realizing this one fact that I was able to understand and respect women (before learning this I would beat them unmercifully) – and understanding this helps just a little bit – when it comes to life shattering shit like this. Women are making that promise completely, giving of themselves completely, in that moment. But, should their underlying emotions surrounding you and your (as a couple) situations change the answer will shift along with the circumstances.
Honestly, I didn’t recognize this at all until I read Deida’s book and hopefully you haven’t until now either… so that you can always remember me. Because that’s why I’m doing this, so that you will remember me. It’s like Dane Cook’s sketch about shoving ice cream in a kids face. I’m Dane Cook, and you, the reader are the kid, and I’m shoving a nice cold wet mound of ice cream (girl knowledge) in your face (brain). It’s a stretch, and I digress…
This is some mind boggling shit for most guys.
I consider my self pretty progressive. I get mani-pedi’s every Tuesday, I sing Wham! tunes whenever I get the chance (because your ass better wake me up before you go go), and I ALWAYS masturbate hovering over a large 2 – 3 sheets of paper towel, because I’m clean like that, but this reality, of how women could say one thing one moment, go back on their WORD, and crush us guys never seemed to make any sense.
(REGRETTABLY GOOGLED TIP – don’t search for WHAM on google images)
But, now it does. Unlike men, where our word is our bond, it seems – at least in my experiences, and with the big promises (see all these disclaimers) – that this is just not the case with many women. They will change their mind and go back on their word when or if their mood changes.
To conclude, if you remember this the next time shit hits the fan, perhaps you can be a little more understanding (not hold your woman to your same standards). Then work on transforming yourself and then her mood/reality in order to continue being in a relationship, in love, in a situation, where keeping her word is her only reality.
