Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Only in America is this possible. I have kept a man, most likely from Nigeria, in constant communication for nearly 2 months (no I do not have a life) and I received nearly $30,000 in forged checks, all while expelling the craziest crap I could think of in order to avoid his threats of getting me arrested by the FBI. Let’s finish this up. To review, Part 1 highlighted my receipt of the 1st check of $1500 (for a $40 electronic item), part 2 illustrated how I received another check of $3000 and then a follow up check of $20,000 when I explained to my Nigerian friend Alex, that my bank charges fees for checks under $20,000 and the nearest bank is 200 miles away. At the end of the last part we learned that Alex’s wife is not doing so well…

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TO: alex kenny (ck4cool@yahoo.com) (11/12/07)

What’s wrong with your wife? I am terribly sorry to hear about your wife. Do you have health insurance? We just got finished watching Sicko over here and it seems, even if you do have insurance, it usually doesn’t help.

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From: alex kenny (ck4cool@yahoo.com) (11/12/07)

hello……..
plz my wife is terrible sick in the hospital and we need money to treat her now,he dont have health insurance,plz i want you to send out of the money with you to the information with you thru western union money transfer, so that we can use the money to treat my wife,plz i dont want my wife to sick,plz

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From: alex kenny (ck4cool@yahoo.com) (11/19/07)

hello…………..

i cant now know the kind of person yuo are now………..i can now see that you are a scammer……….what will be your gain if you are scamming someone like you………..you get my money in hands and you dont want to send it back…..what is all that………ok,am usin this opportunity to tell you that this is my last time of mailing you.if you dont get back to me now.or yuo send my money………..you shall see what we happen to you and your family in some weeks………now……….

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I WIN, this isn’t quite over, but it might as well BE. HE CALLED ME A “SCAMMER.” That shit’s in quotes because he wrote it. But, I really don’t like being called names:

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TO: alex kenny (ck4cool@yahoo.com) (11/20/07)

I am confused by the wording of your last email. Does this mean you will be sending out one last mail? Are you sending me my fucking check? I swear on the blood of 1000 dolphins that if i don’t have the money soon something terrible will happen to you and your people. If I do receive the money I will happily forward you the rest through western union.

Toodles,

Zach

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You notice how I juxtapose the soft, gentle closing (Toodles), with the previous paragraph threatening genocide? Hopefully threatening an international scammer, through email isn’t a crime. HAHAHA, this is all a big joke, an elaborate, multi-month joke.

For the sake of 100% disclosure, I have nothing against dolphins, although honestly I doubt they’re as easy going as the mass media portrays.

Nevermind… in doing about 10 seconds of research on this post, I’ve come to the conclusion that dolphins are INDEED a species I have something against. Apparently, according to weird looking websites and anonymous posts they rape women and “murder within their societies.”

(NO, this is not a Jewish dolphin – just a poser, trying to impress his victim’s husband with his Yiddish.)

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From: alex kenny (ck4cool@yahoo.com) (11/20/07)

what are yuo telling me now…………….what about the chq of $2,500 i sent to yuo………..i believe you have got the money in hands as at now…………..why are you donig this to yourself……………you are spoiling your future and image if you are having someone money in your hand and yuo dont want to send………………send my money to me if yuo like yourself orelse…………..i want you to go nad send my money today thru western union

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From: alex kenny (ck4cool@yahoo.com) (11/21/07)
TITLE: DONT BE ANNOYED YOU MADE ME MAD ON YOU……………….

hello what is going on now……………let come to reality…………..get back to me now……….i have a word to discuss to you………..hope to hear from you soon………..

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TO: alex kenny (ck4cool@yahoo.com) (11/24/07)

Hi Alex,

Thank you for calming down, I was a bit concerned when you threatened my family. I can’t believe you would treat someone that was trying to help you like that.

But, I too am to blame, I apologize for raising my text at you, cursing, and swearing on the blood of 1000 monkeys. I really just need the $20,000 in order to make sure my bases are covered. I would appreciate the check as soon as possible as tomorrow is a holiday and I would like to help my own wife with her disability. Again, I am willing to negotiate on how much I will keep and how much I will forward, but I need a commitment from you. I also would appreciate you keeping your word.

Thanks,

Zach

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No, he never actually threatened my family. At this stage, I figured things were winding down, but I wanted to stretch it as far as it would go. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to get ANOTHER $20,000 check (bringing my total to more than $50k), but I did continue to receive requests for the money until I ended the relationship:

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TO: alex kenny (ck4cool@yahoo.com) (12/10/07)

Do you have a picture of you and your wife you could take? Maybe take the picture with my name inside the frame somewhere, maybe write my name on the wall with lipstick or something. I have been scammed online before and until I receive my 20,000 and the picture I cannot in good faith send any money.

Thanks

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You can’t blame me for wanting to make sure Alex’s wife was TRULY sick. Before You Accuse Me (Take a Look at Yourself).

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FROM: alex kenny (ck4cool@yahoo.com) (12/10/07)

dont email me again……………

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And I never did. In all let’s recap:

• the ordeal took 3 months (I was in constant communication with a check frauder)
• I left a message on Facebook Creator, Mark Zuckerberg’s phone (asshole still hasn’t called me back – it took a while to track him down)
• I received over $30,000 in checks
• I managed to be called a “SCAMMER” by a Nigerian Check Fraud Artist (is it really artistry though?)
• Wasted about $100 of a Scammer’s money on shipping charges
• … I love my job

I’ve sky doven, had sex with literally thousands of models, watched a puppy be born, and won numerous middle school awards for art (wow, that just changed quickly), but that pales in comparison to my experience with Alex. If he’s reading, I want him to know that even two years later, I still think about him constantly.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Almost two years ago I was moving out of my place to move in with my girlfriend at the time. I was excited, afraid, generally gassy, and looking to sell off anything I could to raise some extra bucks to make sure we’d be okay. So I decided to sell one electronic item on Facebook’s marketplace. Unfortunately, my stereo had been stolen a few months before (although in hindsight the thieves did a great job of nicely removing it from my car), but they had left the IPOD adapter. I had no use for it and thought I might be able to recoup a few bucks. Little did I know it would take me down a crazy cross-country Nigerian check fraud journey, involving Mark Zuckerberg and the FBI.

After receiving a message from “Mali”, in my Facebook mail, I contacted him directly at the email he/she provided. Now keep in mind the fact that A) he was supposed to be from around the area (hence the use of local city names) and B) his name on facebook was Mali.

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Sent to “Mali”: ck4cool@yahoo.com (9/26/07)

Hi Mali,

It’s Zach from Facebook, the final price for the pioneer IPOD car connector is $40. I am pretty firm on the price, but because I am moving out (my girlfriend and I just got a place in Lehigh) I can be flexible.

Please let me know what you think.

Thanks,

Zach

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From: alex kenny (ck4cool@yahoo.com)

hello…
thanks for your mail,am ok with the price of the item so get back to me now with your name and address so that  i can issue the chq out now,and mind you i will be available for shippment of the item,so there will be an excess fund on the chq coming to you so when you got the chq i want you to go and cash it and deduct your money and send the rest to my shipper company coming for the pickup so that they can come for the pickup of the item,and when you got the money sent i want you to get back to me with the information giving to you in western union,so i can give it to my shipping company to collect the money………hope to hear from you soon…..

Cheers

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Bunch of red flags here, poor grammar, misspellings, the use of “Cheers” as a sign off. What is this guy fucking British? Mali doesn’t sound British (I’m not racist). I didn’t understand what he was talking about with the shipping and all and had a bad feeling about this. A friend of mine’s girlfriend had just been taken for $3000 in a check fraud scam and I wasn’t about to be duped. Let’s explore…

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Sent to: alex kenny (9/27/07)

HI Alex,

Glad to hear you are ok with the price. Will you have your shipping company pick up the item, or do you want me to ship it? If I ship it it will probably be about $10. I checked with USPS today and that’s the rate for shipping and insurance generally within the US.

Please send the money to:

(address omitted because of security concerns – it was a friend’s p.o. box)

I have other items for sale as well too. If you are interested let me know and I will forward you some pictures.

Thanks,

Zach

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From: alex kenny (ck4cool@yahoo.com) (9/27/07)

Thank for your good mail my shiping company will come for pickup okayas i was tellink you b4 that my shipig company will come for pickup , mail me when you have the check okay

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Okay, I got the guy excited. He’s clearly orgasming (is that really a word?) while writing this email. Nothing makes sense, there’s abbreviations everywhere. His hands and his mind are in another place. I proceed to quickly ask him about shipping and he responds by letting me know that shipping is of no worry – “that his company will handle it”. This man is a bona fide pimp!!!! I mean, only the truly wealthy and prestigious have shipping companies in their back pockets ready and able to help them with any thing they may need.  I was pretty confident that this man had a lot of money, and a masturbation problem.

Now, as a good Samaritan I received the check – via UPS from Massachusetts. See you have to understand, I love taking on other people’s paper, providing a good home, and looking after it. And I like running up shipping bills even more.

It came a few days after the above exchange. It was a very good fake. At first glance everything seemed right (I think I might still have it somewhere). But, I took it to a bank and they helped confirm that it was indeed a fake. What had I gotten myself involved in? Accepting fake checks that had traveled across State lines? Surely the FBI was going to smash down my doors any day.

I decided to just sit back.

But, in just a few days of no contact Alex’s mood had changed:

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From: alex kenny (ck4cool@yahoo.com) (10/02/07)

Hello honest seller………..

you should have gotting the chq by now,so i want you to go and cash it and remove your own amount and send the remain to my shipper company agent information below….

Name:AUSTINE DAVID

Address:20 CLEM ROAD

City:AKODIRI

Zip Code:22001

State:PORT NOVO

Country:REPUBLIC OF BENIN

After sending the funds,i want you to get back to me with the western union information that you will be given at the western union outlet..

Thanks for your co-operation

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Another name? This guy is fucking James Bond, looks, money, connections. Republic of Benin? At this point I called Facebook. After locating a number… just go and try to do that, I got a receptionist on the phone. I asked to speak to their fraud/security department to which she responded… I’m sorry sir that’s not how we work here, I need a name. So I replied “Mark Zuckerberg.” She thanked me and connected me. Unfortunately the douche bag was unavailable, apparently random people calling in to report fraud aren’t that important to a billionaire. After listening to his voice mail message, which sounded a little bit too much Kermit the Frog, I left a brief message about the scenario with my name and number (I have been waiting by my phone for nearly 2 years and haven’t gotten a call).

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Sent to “Mali” AKA Alex Kenny AKA Austine David: ck4cool@yahoo.com (10/03/07)

Hi Alex,

I haven’t received the money yet, but I will let you know once it arrives. Would you like me to ship the ipod piece to this address as well?

Thanks, Zach

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From: alex kenny (ck4cool@yahoo.com) (10/04/07)

hello honest seller…….

but my accountant told me that the chq has been delivered to you…..wht is going on overthere get back to me now am coming confused,cos i belive you should have gotting the chq cleared by now………..i await your reply,but ship he ipod to the that information the information is for the shipping company that you will send the remaining money to after you have deduct your own amount………..hope is clear…….get back to me now

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Before we continue, the subject line for all of these emails has been “Get Back to Me Now…….” originally titled by Alex. Time for the hard sell, let’s try to back out of this and see where things go:

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Sent to “Mali” AKA Alex Kenny AKA Austine David: ck4cool@yahoo.com (10/05/07)

Hi Alex,

I am a little confused as to what you have written. I have not received a check yet. I did recently ship some things to a friend and it seemed to take longer than normal via usps. Perhaps the mail system is just slow? What carrier did you use?

Also, I can’t really tell based on what you written what to do with the ipod. I don’t know if we should go through with this… I do have another person that is interested in the IPOD adapter and I think this has been a bit of a pain.

From: alex kenny (ck4cool@yahoo.com) (10/04/07)

hello what is going on overthere,have you got the money in hand now,cos my accountant tell me that you are lieing that the chq is with you,so plz i want you to go and send the money to my shipping company now before i call the FBI to lock you  up………..get back to me

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Wow things turned quickly. And to think I was just “away.”

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Sent to “Mali” AKA Alex Kenny AKA Austine David: ck4cool@yahoo.com (10/11/07)

Jesus Alex,

What the hell is going on? Serioslee! I leave the town for only a couple of days and I get a bunch of threatening emails and even calls via the ip-relay service. I didn’t realize you were deaf or hard of hearing and oculdn’t make  phone calls. I wish you would have explained that earlier…. but it still doesn’t obituate the fact that you are very meean and harsh in the tonality of your figure.

You know looking back now, noing the way you’ve behaved I just don’t know if i should continue this transaction.

I did receive your package along with the attached letter to email someone, do you still need me to email that address? Again, I have been away from town for a few days and sorry I have been out of touch. The check was for over $1500. That’s okay, but I thought you were going to send more. My bank charges fees for any checks under $20,000. If you could send another check I will cash both (use the smaller one for the fees).

Zach

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Some say I have the biggest balls in the biz. And frankly, when I know I’m dealing with a person that’s deaf I will push boundaries. So you know, the IP relay tool is (supposed to be) a system by which someone deaf pays the service a fee to place a phone call on their behalf. The deaf person types, the service personnel read off the message, you respond, they type back to the person. Quite creative way to use the Internet to make a phone call.

Needless to say I found it funny that I was talking about the FBI and check cashing with a random woman from Texas, caught in between myself and this check fraud scam. Unfortunately, they weren’t able to get me any information on who placed the call.

Read Part 2 >>