Trying to navigate through everyday life is tough enough but then there are plenty of useless inventions that trip us up for no good reason at all.
There are plenty of different examples, as we’ve pointed out in two separate posts, but let’s take a gander at five more things making life that much more difficult.
The strings on basketball shorts
So you just bought a new pair of shorts and of course basketball shorts are the best thing to rock around the house, but after one washing they never fit the same again.
For whatever reason when you thrown them in the washing machine, the strings get all tangled up and either one of the strings gets drawn into the shorts and you can’t get it out or the waist band gets all tangled up and stretched out so you can still wear them if you balloon up to 450 pounds.
Don't worry LeBron, Shaq can borrow your shorts no matter how much weight he gains.
During the course of every pair of basketball shorts, there will be one instance where you go outside and suddenly the shorts come flying off your butt for no reason because the strings let you down.
Has Nike and every other manufacturer failed to come up with some type of material that can catch the strings before they retract into the shorts never to be found again?
With one washing, $20 goes flying out the window with basketball shorts, and Manwhole.com is fed up with it. Someone needs to work around the clock and solve this epidemic.
Garbage Bag Ties
There has never been a documented case where someone took out the trash by removing the bag from the can, sifting through their junk drawer to find a garbage bag tie, wrap the tie around the top of the bag and throw it in the dumpster.
So why does Hefty and all of these other pushy trash bag manufacturers insist on throwing these stupid ties into every box they sell, only to have people open their junk drawer looking for something else only to prick their finger on these stupid ties.
Just tie the bag up yourself. Forget the ties. It's ok, we won't judge you, too much.
The big problem is when you think to throw the ties out, you just took the trash out and don’t want to put the ties into a new bag, you just took the trash out. Why would you create another chore for yourself?
Settings on Windex bottles
Seriously, why the hell are there for settings on a windex botttle? And why are two of them off?
Has anyone ever not wanted the “spray” feature when they pick up a bottle of windex? Has anyone intentionally used the “stream” setting?
One setting is enough, buttholes.
It just pisses me off when you pick up a bottle, go to spray it and it won’t fire, then you have to flip the little square around to the right setting and then proceed to clean up whatever the stupid mess was you made in the first place.
Cleaning stuff is horrible enough, I don’t need to waste my Labor Day flipping little squares on bottles to clean up a mess I already don’t feel like cleaning up. It’s bulls#%#.
Car Alarms
Back in the day when people who had too much money and didn’t want to fiddle with the annoying ass Club, rolled with the Viper car alarm system because of the awesome “Protected by Viper, Stand Back” commercial that always was cool.
Now they’re just useless, why wouldn’t you just get a LoJack instead of any other car alarm?
A guy is wearing a hood? You know something shady is going on.
Have you ever heard a car alarm go off and try and offer some help? Or even thought someone was stealing a car?
Car alarms are too sensitive. A squirrel can fart near your car and it’ll trigger it. Too many restless nights are caused by some stupid car alarm that keeps going off, but the car owner isn’t home it just keeps going and going until you get to the point where you start imitating the noises the car makes.
Locks on Screen Doors
Screen doors are an awesome invention, you let the fresh air in, enable your neighbors debate on a case of domestic abuse has taken place in your home and burglars out of your home.
You think I’m kidding you? There’s a lock on the screen door, and it’s controlled by pushing a weird peg over to the right and you hear a click, so you know it works.
Just lock the screen door, you'll be safe. I promise.
Has anyone ever been locked out of a screen door before? If you just keep trying to open it, it’ll eventaully budge and let you in. Let’s end this century long charade of safety with screen doors and just admit you’re rolling the dice when you use one.
