When do you break up with your girlfriend? What are some signs that you need to hit the road? Are you just being a bitch that needs to grow up and be a man… a whole man?
Here’s how you can tell…
Wait, think about why are you here in the first place?
I mean both the literal here (sitting on your couch at 1am, a little drunk, surfing the web and reading a post on a website with a name that seems oddly gay), as well as the figurative here, in this situation, this predicament, unhappy.
If you’re looking at this article, maybe you found us on Google by doing a search for “should I break up with my girlfriend” or “should I leave my wife” something is ALREADY WRONG. That’s the shitty part. The good part is, you did some searches, you are reading, and you are on your way to becoming a man of action. By simply searching for a solution to whatever problem you personally are having in your relationship you are ahead of 95% of men out there, good for you (that was an arbitrary % by the way).
So the big thing to remember is that you think, you believe, that something is wrong. Something or someone is not meeting your expectations.
Look at You First
Not too long ago I went out with some new acquaintances (ladies) for some drinks and a hockey game. We started at a bar locally and then carpooled from the bar to the local hockey rink. Not too long after the end of the game I decided it was time for me to go home and was driven back to my car by ANOTHER lady I had met that evening (not the original people I came with). Unfortunately, I forgot I had left my keys in the original car we pooled in. Fuck! I called the original people frantically trying to figure out when they would all be arriving back at the cars so I could pick up my keys. It took about 10 minutes, but they came, I got my keys and left.
At first I was fucking furious. They were pretty much all totally wasted and it was too late on a work night for me. But, I thought for a minute and realized it was my fault (despite some of the crazy drunken lady drama I had to deal with). I forgot my key, that wasn’t their fault, and they had a right to do whatever they wanted.
Moral of the story is look at you first. This can be a HUGE challenge in your everyday life, and can be even harder when you’re angry or upset. Has the situation you are going through been exacerbated by your actions or your REACTIONS? Is all her nagging really well intentioned? Does she just want you to be a responsible man and get a job (she deserves a man with a job!)?
What Are You Getting Out of the Relationship?
You get what you give, but if you’ve been giving, you better be getting, or you’re going to want to kick some ass.
I went through a period of asking myself whether or not what I was doing was right.
“Should I really be in this relationship?” I asked myself. My latest girlfriend, who I was madly in love with and still care for deeply, was cutting me down at every turn. Since we had taken a break and I had the opportunity to date I knew a lot of the things she was doing/saying was bullshit.
My story might be a little different than yours, but basically I added everything up in my head, the pros and the cons, the good and the bad, and moved forward using this information. Personally, I was getting nothing out of the relationship, no moral support, friendship, sex, etc. (not necessarily in order of importance) but giving everything, so the conclusion was easy – but the decision and action weren’t so easy.
Your situation might be different, chronicling the good and the bad may lead to a realization that you are being stupid, and just need to cool down.
Are You Only in it Because You’re Doing the Right Thing?
As I said above, I personally was dealing with your very situation not too long ago. I asked myself, “Should I really be in this relationship?” When the pros and cons were added, it was clear I shouldn’t. But, I had one more hurdle to confront. The woman I was with was going through a lot, and it was the right thing to stick by her side, and help her through her problems… I thought.
I’ve done this, and many of my friends seem to do this. Sticking to a relationship because you made a promise to someone and you’re trying to keep it. If you are doing this, keeping your word, it is a great thing, but in these kinds of situations we could learn a lot from our counter parts with vaginas (see that… I’m saying we’re equals) keep your word, if it makes sense, and you are in a quality relationship, but if yours is on a steady decline, your needs aren’t being met, etc. something has to change.
END OF STORY
Obviously there are scenarios that aren’t going to be so cut and dry – ie if your lady is injured in a car accident and is in a coma for a very long time. Personally I can only take so much dry humping and I like my women to scream.
I have no idea how to specifically address this question… I can’t figure everything out, okay.
Is She Attracted to You?
This is the biggest one of them all – saved for last – and the biggest “fuck you” in the whole lot. Sure up until now we’ve looked at ourselves, analyzed her bitchy demeanor, and addressed whether or not we’re trying to be too knightly (doing the right thing), but is she attracted to you?
Here’s the caveat, attraction IS NOT THE SAME AS “LIKING.” Attraction is that pain in the gut that makes you yearn for your lover, it’s the word that defines the desire to want to be with a person every waking moment, tear their clothes of as soon as you see them and go to town.
Signs she isn’t attracted to you:
- Increased trips with friends (without you – where you used to come along)
- Decreased sex
- Increase in number of fights
Not every woman or circumstance will be the same, but I know if you are willing to really look at yourself and the situation you’ll be able to tell if she’s attracted to you or not. This happened to me. My girlfriend and I fit, we got along, but after a few years she just wasn’t attracted to me any more. It hurt like hell, but I ended the relationship.
Conclusion
In conclusion… just kidding, thought I would take you back to high school real quick.
I thought I would quote myself – I recently told this to a friend who made the decision to cut it off:
I was just where you’re at not too long ago. You made the right choice. Don’t get caught up in thoughts like “why wasn’t I good enough” and just remember the timing was wrong, it was wrong, the universe was wrong, etc. you made the right decision. Remember your unhappiness. Don’t beat yourself up down the road. If you really did try you did more than most of the [guys] I know. Take pride in the fact that you’re doing something to make your life better.
And, all may not be lost, their feelings may change, your feelings may change and making the move first and taking responsibility for your own life and happiness is infinitely more attractive than having her make the decision for you 
.
